Where Is It Coming From
by akirachan7
Summary: Hideyoshi have been watching his best friend, Kaneki Ken. But Kaneki, didn't even realized that. Hideyoshi just didn't want him to know, yet. Rated K now, so be careful. :)
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 - The complex heart.

* * *

**This is the first time I'm writing the story to be published. So, for the bad grammar, I'm very sorry! -bow-**

**Disclaimer : The Tokyo Ghoul is not mine. Just the plot. xD**

* * *

Sometimes, we can only see the appearance.

But sometimes, we can see through the appearance until what have been writing at the soul.

The agony. The hatred. The cold. The regret. The whisper. The scream.

All in one.

All are one. In that one soul.

Like an open book.

Like a story that line up to read over.

Like a picture that expose everything.

That's 'him'.

His best friend.

'He' think that 'he' can keep a secret. 'He' think,' he' can hide a story. 'He' think, 'he' can just smile and everything will be alright. 'He' think that he can fool everyone with that innocent face.

But surely. 'He' can't hide everything. 'He' can't be anything.

When he speak, this so called his best friend just being there smile. Not utter the word. Not bother to reply even a sentence.

Sometimes he just want to punch that face to let 'him' know that he was still there. Just to let 'him' know, that he were still care. Just to let 'him' know that he will be there for the worst time. Just to let 'him' know, he will dare to be killed for the sake of 'him'.

But him.. will never understand this heart of friend. Because he never want to open his heart to understand others. And never even care to open his heart to let others understand him.

That complexion sometime bother his mind.

* * *

**A/N : err.. how about that? it's that good for the start? I want to write more..but, the time become jealous of me. Until then.. jaa~**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 - The voice that echo

* * *

**Disclaimer : Tokyo Ghoul is not mine. If it's mine, I don't know what will it turn out to be.. xD**

* * *

"Kaneki!" a loud shout make the teenager flip his head over his shoulder. He saw his best friend runs towards him. A thin line forming on his lips. Almost like a painful smile lurk in there. His aye-patch still there, covering one of his eye. Since his discharged from the hospital and decide to start the school over, that eye-patch always there. Hiding his true form from his surrounding, from his best friend, from everyone. But he didn't know that Hide already found out about it long ago.

"Hide-kun," Kaneki soft voice entered his ears when his steps was near the bench where his friend was sit down while reading one of Takatsuki Sen's book. He didn't really know what the title is, but he always watch him read that book over and over again. Sometimes, he want to ask but decided that it not necessary. Hide sit in front of him. Looking at him with a sweet smile.

"Wanna come over to my house today?" Hide ask Kaneki that already returning his eye to the book and continue his reading.

Silence.

Kaneki didn't even bother to utter the word. He just continue to read his book.

Hide fixed his eyes and stared at Kaneki, waiting for his answer. Like always, he didn't pay attention to his surrounding. He keep himself blend with only his book. What is he thinking? The question that Hide keep asking himself. Like always, Kaneki just didn't want to blend his self with others. He know Kaneki was scared. He know Kaneki always draw a line, a thick line within him and others, it's also include Hide himself. He know Kaneki don't want others to recognize himself being a ghoul. He know Kaneki also want to keep a certain distant towards him too, so he will withstand the urge towards human itself.

_How much did you suffer, Kaneki!_ His heart screams. Hoping Kaneki will hear them.

His question just hanging there without answer his hoping for.

Hide getting irritated, he grab Kaneki's white shirt collar that he always wearing to school, "how long did you want to ignore me, huh!?"

The sudden contact towards him make Kaneki surprised. Hide's eyes look straight to him like an arrow piercing towards his heart, the eyes that content with painful and sorrow gaze make him gasp.

He avert his eye away from his friend, "I'm sorry, Hide. But not today." The said line make Hide released his clutch together with a sigh.

"It's that so?" Kaneki nod with a smile. Not with his long gone sweet smile.

* * *

Hide stretch his hand over his head, trying to relax his stiff muscle after his keep it too long in this dim room that only have his table lamp to light his desk while he's doing his assignment from hours ago.

Grumbling sound coming from his stomach just remind him that he didn't have dinner yet. A soft sigh coming from his mouth.

"Aww.. I'm hungry," his hand touched his empty stomach. "What there to it~" while humming, he open the fridge and running his eyes all over looking for something to eat and found some of spaghetti the balance from yesterday. He shove it into the oven and making some tea for him while waiting his dinner ready.

Leaving alone is surely lonely. His mother and father suddenly decide that they want to go to their hometown in Hokkaido for this winter. Even they know Hokkaido is always winter through the year. That make them a slight fatigue from summer in Tokyo, the heat sure is pain. He released a sigh through his nose, and his mind just wondered to his friend, Kaneki. Did he have a dinner already? He shake his head slightly. After that incident that make Kaneki even more secretive towards him, he never see Kaneki eat. Even when he force him to eat lunch together, Kaneki just sit there watching him eat alone while he be accompanied with his coffee like always.

Ding!

A bit surprised showed in his face when the microwave make the warning that it finished it's work. The blond take the plate of spaghetti out from the microwave to dinning room. He reached the remote to open the tv to watch some news. Like yesterday and the day before that and before day before that, news of some ghoul make appearance everywhere is on air, making his sick.

He hope with all his heart that Kaneki name will never appeared in the news for that matter. He let out a sigh again. He stand up and walk towards his bedroom to find his cellphone. Kaneki's number show up on screen and he dialed it. He don't know why, he's heart feel hurts when the news hit his ears.

''Hide-kun?'' the soft voice greet his ears and sending a flutter towards his heart. A smile suddenly crack when the voice of his friend is there.

"Kaneki, how about your dinner?" without he realize, he face-palmed. And he even almost hear the loud sound of beating of his own heart. Eh?

''Already have it, how about you?" He know his friend is worried about him, and he understand how much his friend care for him. But, he just didn't want Hide to know that he is already part of a ghoul.

"Really?" The sound of disbelieving in his voice is enough to make Kaneki nervous. It's just like Hide know the hidden truth.

"Yeah, at the Anteiku before my shift ended hours ago." The stern in his voice sounds very clear to make Hide believe him. The soft sigh winded in his ear.

"Hide-kun, I'm sorry about yesterday," Kaneki voice make Hide clutch his own collar, like he want to prevent his heart from burst out of his chest. He let out a chuckled to cover his nervous heart, although he didn't know if it worked.

"It's okay, I understand. Don't worry about that, dude," a small laugh echoed from his lips. "oh, when did you want to coming over? You used to come here, and now it's feels becoming even empty and lonely now."

Hide closed his eyes while leaning in his bed. The answer he received from Kaneki awhile ago make his heart thumping loudly. _What happened here_? He asked himself. Not quite sure either.

_What is this? _He began to doubt himself.

* * *

**A/N : I'm sorry for the bad grammar. -bows- Review is welcoming for the better. Thank you for reading. :D  
**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 - Getting farther.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I'm not the owner of Tokyo Ghoul. And never wish to be one, just enjoy be the one of the fan.. xD **

* * *

_Those we love don't go away._

_They walk beside us everyday. _

_Unseen._

_ Unheard. _

_But always near. _

_Still loved, still missed._

_And held so dear._

* * *

"Excuse me," a soft voice entered his ears and a tap on his shoulder make him lift his eyes to saw a girl that he barely knew. He frowned.

"Yeah? can I help you, miss.." he try to remember the name of that pretty girl that take a sit in front of him. She beamed a smile and showed him her beautiful dimple that formed at both of her cheeks. Ah, that dimple remembered him for the girl that always searching for Kaneki almost the time. He smiles back at her while tilted his head slightly to the side.

"Shiino," she reply, "I'm Shiino Hina, Kaneki's classmate from literature class. Have you seen Kaneki lately? I wondered where he was going, he didn't show up in almost of his class. I'm worried." The soft sigh from her make Hide leaned backward to avoid his flattered face from visible towards the girl.

Suddenly, the tremor in his heart bothering him scarily in some other way. Oh my, what the..

What the heck was that? Seriously!

"I don't really know, Shiino-san," Hide crack his corner lips a bit upward showing her that he is trying to 'smile'. Now, he can feel some butterfly running or flying in his stomach. Immediately, he frowned. Eh? Again?

"Oh," she said softly. Hide cringe inward, but his face still have that crack earlier. Hide don't want to lose his face in front of that girl, so he excuse himself after the moment of silent that surrounding both of them. He grab his bag that he put near his leg and dumping everything on the table into it.

"Wait," Hide paused and shift his gaze toward the girl that scribble on something like memo paper and hand it over near his face make him blinking with soundless question at her.

"Can you give this to Keneki when you see him? I need to speak to him." She smile gently that make Hide nod with the same smile to her, and give him a folded memo paper. Hide took the paper and shove it inside his pants pocket without second look.

"I will, but I'm not guaranty either. He become so smart for play hide-and-seek lately. So, don't hope too much on me." She nod, "Thank you, Hideyoshi-kun." Hide gave a last smile over his shoulder and walk away. He frowned slightly, is he ever gave his name to that girl? He shrugged and try to chased away the feeling he have earlier. Kaneki has something that he didn't know of. And he, he will find out eventually for the sake of that only friend of him.

_Where are you Kaneki?! _He screams inward. Try to uphold his back to face the sky, closed his eyes. _Please come back, how dare you to make a lovely girl worried about you.. _Hide let out a loud sigh while slowly leave the campus in his back. Kaneki barely come to school and finally decided he want to stop coming if not he knock some sense to his skull that he will always be there if Kaneki needed him in one way or another.

He decided to visit that friend of him at that Anteiku coffee shop that Kaneki had start work in. He sure that Kaneki will be there for this time because they always go there together before that accident occur almost two months ago. Without him realize it, a smile formed on his face.

* * *

Kaneki look up to the stretched blue sky. Gentle breeze swept away his fringe that almost reached his eyes. He like to find the calm on this rooftop. He like to look the blue sky from up here. He like the breeze that calmed his heart. He closed his eyes, the feels of wind reached out to his raging soul.

"Kaneki." He spun his head towards the voice who called his name. A smile formed at his lips when he saw Yumo-san. A man that have a muscular body which hide inside his grey jacket that he always wear, that compared to him is a bit...urm...it was so much different actually. If he want to compare his to that man, it's look just like a kid and his father. Kaneki laugh slightly. What will Yumo-san said or think when he ask him that? Yomu-san frowned and send him a questioned stare. He is a man with few word actually, only speak when he want, and almost the time is he's so silent inside his own world.

"What?" A slightly husky voice make Kaneki snapped from his thought and give that man a thin smile. He shoved his head to side, "Nothing," he answer.

"Well, are you ready?" Keneki gave him a nod. His manager ask him to learned a martial arts from Yumo for his future. He agreed almost immediately after that. Even Touka offer her assistance but got rejected by their manager because she have an exam in a month.

"Yeah, let's go, Yumo-san."

And, there, in the somewhere underground, he begun his practice martial arts with Yumo as his instructor or more like his teacher. Their begun from small practical movement to some sort of dangerous type of move that Yumo want him to remember and stuck it into his skull for future use.

He almost likely didn't want to be like when Nishiki thrashing him the other day. And because of that, he almost thought that he will lost on of his arm or leg or some of his abdomen from the beating. He learn his lesson already. But, thanks for this body that after the operation on him that received one of his left organ from Rize's body, all of his wounds heal immediately after that.

One after another, Yumo gave him a blow which is onto his stomach, his cheeks, his legs, his hand and his back that he barely see. Kaneki rise his right arm that slightly shivers asking for rest while his left arm placed on his stomach that feel like he gonna drew up again and his back facing the wall. Yumo-san stopped his fist right in front his face that slightly touched his nose and make him crawled backward shockingly scared.

"Okay, we stop at here." Yumo-san voice sound like whispered make Kaneki sighed relief at that.

* * *

"Hello, Touka-chan!" Hide said cheerfully to the blue hair girl that welcome him at the door shop make her blushed slightly. "Hello, Hideyoshi-kun," Touka beamed him a shy smile that crack at his lips. Hide take a sit near the window that he always sat together with Kaneki at some old days. Thanks for the near empty space at the shop, there just had two customers at that time. One of them is a man, reading newspaper in his late thirty accompany with a cup of black coffee and the other one is a old woman that look like she's waiting for someone referred from her sitting facing the door with her almost half emptied cup.

Hide turn his head over Touka that stand beside him with small smile plastered over his face. He know Touka just faking it, but he didn't really care. "Can you give a cup of cappuccino, Touka-chan?" Hide beamed her with his always cheerful smile, Touka just gave him a nod before walked away slowly to the counter to place his order. A few minutes later she came with a white coffee cup with cappuccino that he ordered.

"Oh, thank you, Touka-chan," Hide smile once again, "Err, Touka-chan?" Touka stopped his feet at the called and turn her face towards him.

"What is it?" she ask while tilted her head a little to the side facing him.

"Kaneki," his smile dead at that time, "Where is he?"

Touka sighed slightly while shakes her head, "I'm sorry, I don't know where is he go," she smiles softly, "Why don't you call him?" she ask and Hide just shakes his head. "He didn't answer me," Hide tried to crack a smile and failed at that.

"I'm sorry." Touka walked away leaving him to the counter to do some work. Hide just turned his head over to the window and sighed softly. Kaneki just getting farther away from him.

* * *

You don't know me, You don't even care. No one knows my fate..

* * *

**A/N: There, hope you enjoy it guys.**

**Calico The3Colors****: Thanks for the review and sorry for the late update. -bow-**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 : The Screaming Heart..

* * *

**Warning: Sorry for the bad grammar -bow-**

**Disclaimer: Tokyo Ghoul still not mine, really..and never wished to be one.. haha  
**

* * *

_I'm starting to like you less..._

* * *

Sometimes, he really missed his so called best friend, Kaneki.

Sometimes, he just can't shut his eyes up to Kaneki's silent, drifted away.

Sometimes, he seems cannot tolerate anymore of Kaneki's hide and seek plays.

But, sometimes, he can only watched Kaneki slowly pull his self away further and further away from his reach, from his sight.

Hide sigh inwardly watching people walked by pass his side to whatever they were going. His tea in the table steamed slowly to the air.

_Drink alone sure was lonely.. _Hide thought to himself while sipping his tea after blowing the steam away softly. The phone in his hand he tapped slowly showing a few windows popped open reviewed of the scene that full of blood all over the wall near one of the alley in ward 11 and 14. The area that famous of the rough ghoul. He remember discussing the matter with one of his colleague some other days ago, about one group of ghoul that called themselves CLOWN or whatever it is slowly devoured their prey limb and flesh one by one without care.

"Hahaha..." he laugh in horror while facing his phone that showed some scene of person that...not being a person anymore with his torso facing upside down in the wall with his or her eyes showed something scary scene shown in his or her face before it tore his or her waist down to legs apart away in the opposite direction.

_Oh my.. What is this..? _Hide continue to scrolling down his phone screen. The news just getting more and more furious with horror scene one after another. He shut the screen down after tired to control his emotion away in his throat. The feels to puke getting worse after the last scene that showed in his phone screen. Leaving his half empty cup and go the cashier to pay his bill with his pale face really make things a bit worsened.

He didn't feel like this before. Not before Kaneki being adapted to hospital. Not before their being attacked by Nisiki-senpai and he ended up coma for almost 2 days. Not after he knows Kaneki turn to be a ghoul it self. So, since when he starting to feel like this? This is the worse feels ever.

He reach for his phone once again, searching and dialing Kaneki's number. Hoping and waiting for an answer from that side. He need to talk to Kaneki. He need to meet Kaneki. He need Kaneki by his side. He need Kaneki, now!

_Click_, the sound of the phone being picked up, "_Hello, Hide-kun?" _Kaneki's voice reached his ear, and all the bad feels in his stomach gone just like that. A smiles formed on his lips.

"Are you busy? Wanna come over to my place?" He tried to sound as normal as he could. He heard a small chuckles from the other side.

"_What's wrong, Hide-kun? Are you not feeling well again?" _And for the first time, he guessed right make Hide feels so happy. The butterfly in his stomach fly happily.

"Mm.." he nod, even he know that Kaneki didn't see it, "yeah, I'm not feeling so well, and I need you to teach me in my assignment here. Wanna come?" _And i miss you too, _he mentally added. Kaneki is an honor student and always received a dean praised for almost the subject he chose, so it's normal that he always ask him for his study.

"_Okay, I'll be there after my shift is ended. Maybe around 5 in the evening?" _Kaneki's cheerful voice really make his day more brighter. The grinning on his lips grow larger.

"I'll be waiting, see ya then." He ended the call after heard Kaneki's reply. He shoved the phone to his pocket and started cycling his bicycle away home while whistling happily.

* * *

Kaneki tilt his head aside, he had the feeling that Hide's not feeling well, but why is he sounded so happy? For a moment, he just stand there trying to remember the details of their conversations just now. As he remember, it's been almost a month he didn't get to see his so called best friend. And that is what he really want to do. Make him self as far away as possible. He didn't want to drag Hide in his 'new world'. And he didn't want Hide being seen with him and turn to be a victim to this side of world. He didn't want to lose Hide like his mom. He didn't want Hide to change and still be the way he were and always be.

_Thud!_ A loud knock sound from Kaneki's head meet a broom handle make him snap and turn around to see who knocked his head with his tear in his right eye.

"Touka-chan!?" he rubs his head, Touka standing behind him with her right hand on her hips and her left hand hold the broom that she used to knock Kaneki's head.

"What are you doing standing there look so stupid, huh?!" The glare from Touka really make him shivered. Touka didn't scare him, it's just he don't want to make Touka mad. It's a bad news when this girl being angry. He sighed.

"My friend," Touka tense going down hearing Kaneki's voice, "he's not feeling so well. And I think I'm gonna go to his house after my shift ended." Kaneki turn over to face their manager that stand not to far away from them, and he believed that manager were hearing whatever he said. Like being asked, the manager nodded while smiles gently giving his permission. He bows deeply to show his gratitude over, and Touka just clicked his tongue and strode away.

"Thank you, _tenchou."_ He smiles to the manager. "It's fine, you can go see him. He's your best friend, right?" His gentle voice really sooth things over. Manager were so kind. Not only to him, but to everybody else. And that make him always being respected over by whoever knows him.

* * *

A knock on his door make Hide run over to open it. To Kaneki's surprise, his already found him self in Hide's embrace make his eye blinked and his body frozen. Blood rushing over to his face make him blushed. He didn't know how to react even when he knows this habit of Hide.

"U-um.. H-Hide-kun..?" He try to pats Hide's back in response but the grip from Hide's arms get tighter and drawn his face over Kaneki's shoulder. Hide's sighed in relief when he saw Kaneki's face earlier.

"Hahaha.. sorry, Kaneki-kun," Hide laugh and pull over, "come in," he then place his hand over Kaneki's shoulder and gently push him forward, Kaneki nodded and following Hide's steps after he opened his shoes and place it behind the door.

"Sorry for intruding," he said softly. Hide pats his head gently make him blushed again. "You're not," Hide's smiled and Kaneki's nodded. They walk to Hide's room and sit on the floor.

"You wanna drink something?" Hide asked Kaneki when he saw his friend relax near the table. He nodded, "Coffee, please." Hide gave him smile before he go to the kitchen, thank god he remember to buy the drink when he go to market earlier. He know that Kaneki can't eat any of normal human's food already. And he didn't want to risk their friendship over something trivial like that. He still want to respect Kaneki's secrecy toward him. He didn't want Kaneki get further and beyond his reach ever.

* * *

_Because I'm starting to love you more.._

* * *

**A/N: There.. thanks for the reviewer, follower &amp; fav guys.  
**

**Annie-san, thank you very much for enjoying this story. I'm not stopping yet, but, maybe the updating will be slower due to my work. Sorry in the advance. -bow-**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 - We.. with that beginning..

* * *

**Disclaimer: I'm not awning Tokyo Ghoul.. It's the awesome Ishida Sui-sensei's.**

**Warning: Bad grammar.**

* * *

_We loved with a love that more than love itself.._

* * *

Kaneki blinked. He froze. He became frozen in Hide's embraces. His brain had been failed to process what is the cause of this. He's being in this situation. He's being in Hide's strong arms. And he didn't even know that Hide is such a strong one with his arms wrapped around him. He didn't even realize what make Hide being this strong, this protective, this emotional around him. His fingers trembling slightly. He didn't know what he should do. Should he hug Hide back? Should he push Hide away? Or, should he say something so Hide will realize that he'd being in his embrace in such a long time already?

Kaneki just stand there. Like a porcelain doll. Frozen stiff. There, in Hide's embrace. With his cheeks slowly became red crimson. His chest became so tight. He just let Hide's hug him. It's almost half an hour already without a sign that Hide will push him or pull away or say something in between. The silent surrounding them in such an uncomfortable way just making things became really hard for him to voicing his thought to his dear friend.

Kaneki's lips form a small smile. A very gentle one. He sighed slowly then he exhale his breath and rises his hands and clutch Hide's back shirt and pats it gently. He hoped, he know Hide's feeling. Hide's worry. What Hide's trying to tell him, like now. Just from a short lie story that he try to tell Hide just a while ago and they was in this situation.

He lied about his whereabouts in this past few days. He lied about his feeling. He lied about he's 'being'. He lied almost everything except that he was busy working in Anteiku. And he hope that Hide's will understand his feeling as well. He didn't want to let Hide being shoved together in this mess that being created so far for him being one of a ghoul itself. He didn't want to put Hide in danger as well in hell. He didn't want Hide to be so close to him, to let Hide's life being threatened by other ghoul like Nishiki-senpai do the other day.

But Hide didn't budge. Nor have intention to pulling himself away. He still like that, still hug Kaneki in that tight embrace of him. Still refused to let his friend go. And slightly, he heard a soft sniffles from Hide. His eye wide in surprise, is Hide's crying? He try to shove Hide away gently but still, Hide didn't want to move just yet and make Kaneki flustered.

"Hide-kun?" finally he began to calling to Hide. But he just received a slow shakes from Hide's head at his shoulder that refusing to show his face to him.

"You know," Hide's whisper voice that resound near his ear send a shiver down to his spine and trying so hard to surpassed it by clutching Hide's shirt a bit tight to ease his fluttering heart that began to thumping a bit fast, until Hide's voice began again, "I really don't want.. to let you go." Kaneki's widening his eyes at that phrase. _What? _He mentally shouting.

"What?!" He accidentally spouted. A slight nod from Hide's mentioned that he really meant what he said making him at loss. His eye peering at Hide's back that slightly tall than him trying to find proof or something that make Hide said that in the first place.

"I really.. want you.. here.. with me. Together. Always.. with me," Hide's almost whispered stuttering voice hit him. Hard. Kaneki's eyes got wide. Not even want to believed the thing he's hearing, he blinked. And blinked. And blinked again. He try to push Hide's away, and there, Hide's flushed cheeks and teary eyes.

"Hide-kun..." Kaneki's voice, not far from whisperer. Even with Hide's not to far away from him he's got a little trouble to hear it.

"P-please.." Hide's stutter voice pleading him, make him flushed again. "I.. I just.." Hide look so loss in his own self, he ran his fingers in his blond locks. Kaneki just stand there looking at Hide with his knitted brows, not sure for what to say, for what to reply, for what to do, for Hide's look so lost. And surely, he didn't believed in his own judgment in his own action.

"Hide..kun.." Kaneki reach out his hands touching and cooped Hide's cheeks and pulled it gently to facing him, he stare in that deep brown orbs of his friend that slightly look shocked with his sudden behavior. He can see clearly through that shiny teary eyes that his friend really want to hold on it in, didn't want him to witness such a weak side of Hide himself.

"Look at me," he smile gently, Hide's reluctantly look at his eyes while slowly calmed down. "I'm not going anywhere," he tugged Hide's face near him, closed his eyes while they forehead touch each other, "I'm here now.. am I?" his whispered voice finally calmed his friend slightly trembling shoulder. Hide's move his head slowly forming a slight nod.

"Yeah..." Hide's slow voice barely heard in Kaneki's ears make him smiles grow wider.

"I'm sorry if make you worry, Hide-kun," he can feel Hide's gentle touch on his eye, kissing it ever slightly. For a moment he let himself drowned in that sweet pleasure. He want Hide to know that he will always be there, even when his gone to who-knows-where someday.

Maybe this way is not bad.

* * *

_This raging feeling.. is all because of you.._

* * *

a/n : and.. there.. thank you so much for reading especially for those who reviews, following and Favorited, -bow- you guys are the best, thank you for the support!


End file.
